


The Doxology of the Shopping Goddess

by Anna_Wing



Series: Hymns To New Gods [1]
Category: Otherfaith Religion & Lore, modern religion, the really important deities of modern industrial societies
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-09 17:49:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11674092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anna_Wing/pseuds/Anna_Wing
Summary: A prayer to one of the most important deities of our times





	The Doxology of the Shopping Goddess

Thou shalt shop with a pure heart, for love or need only. To shop for any other reason shall offend Her, and She will turn Her face from thee, and thou shalt find no further bargains ever until your offence is expiated. If thou comest to her in purity, thou shalt have Her favour and thy heart shall be at ease and thy possessions shall bring thee joy, and thy bank account shall be in the black, that thou mightst continue to love and serve Her.

2 She is a tolerant Goddess and hath no objection to thy having other gods beside Her. However, if thou shouldst, through an incorrect understanding of "need", get into trouble with the Gods of Wealth or Social Advancement, look to Them not to Her. If thou shouldst bankrupt thyself buying things that thou desirest not, to impress people whose good opinion thou also needeth not, it is not Her problem.

3 She hath not mercy nor compassion, for these are the provinces of other Gods. But the enforcement of product specification and consumer protection legislation is pleasing in Her sight, for confidence in what they buy maketh Her servants to shop more. Nonetheless "Caveat Emptor" shall be their watchword, for She suffereth not the unwary and She devoureth fools. 

4 She is the perilous, impartial and universal Goddess. Thou shalt find Her in dreams and in reality, on-line and off-line, in the shopping centre, in the order book, on the pavement, in the field, in the roadside stall, in the trade fair, in the brothel, in the junkshop, in the factory, in the workshop, in the arms bazaar, in all places where desires are exchanged even thou shalt find Her.


End file.
